“How do you feel about it being July?” I have enjoyed quietly asking a bunch of people this because it seems to elicit the same panicked response in others that it prompted in me when I recently studied my calendar as if it were a mistake that June somehow transitioned into July without so much as a warning. What’s next? Please, don’t answer. When I first started coming to terms with the fact that we are (willingly or not) in the seventh month of the year, I realized that a lot of my panic stemmed from the fact that while so much has happened so far this year, I feel an uncomfortable pinch that not enough of the right things have.
What exactly constitutes the ‘right things’? If I’m being honest, I’ve been more steadfast in my commitment to my goals than in years gone by. I’ve been on wonderful and indulgent holidays with a partner who I adore. I love my friends and they love me back. I have read a lot more books than usual thanks to my new Kindle. I have spent my money on fun clothes that look good in photographs and I’ve enjoyed fresh sourdough bread and champagne (my favourites) at many great restaurants. This is all to say, by all of my own accounts, a lot of the right things have been happening, but somehow I still feel like I haven’t enjoyed enough and that I haven’t achieved enough.
I realize that this vague anxiety is not uniquely mine and is more of a sign of my continued striving (and humanity) rather than a cause for alarm, but this does little to comfort me when my eye twitches as I look at my calendar. I once saw a meme that said we need a weekend between each day and I’d like to go a step further and say we need a month off between each month. A palate cleanser if you will! Like when you reward yourself with a mindless scroll on Instagram because you’ve managed to concentrate for the duration of a meeting. The month off or mindless month wouldn’t really address any of the anxiety — and actually, that would be the point. This wouldn’t be about being practical and proactive, this would rather be about giving ourselves license to procrastinate, idle, faff about, and waste time in a way that’s decidedly not a waste of time. As always-on ambition prevails and girlbossing reigns, opting out of achievement in favour of chasing unproductive pleasures seems like the lazy revolution I need. While the Georgian calendar is unlikely to change anytime soon, we can change how we feel the next time someone says, “How do you feel about it being July?”